I cannot imagine what it must be like to be in an earthquake such as just hit Japan. I cannot imagine the pain of knowing your loved ones were swept away in a tsunami of unimaginable proportions, but what I am able to do is feel tremendous empathy and compassion as I watch the unfolding drama from video clips, and see if there is, in some small way, something I can do to help.
The Bible says “There is a spirit in man; and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding.”
One way I see that spirit of understanding operating is in the outpouring of love and support from one human being to another in times such as these, sometimes across continents and oceans, from city to city and door to door.
We understand in some deep way, their great need. Wherever a disaster hits, you will find people who are strangers to one another, helping, reaching out to one another, sometimes performing heroic feats to save a life that may otherwise have been doomed.
Whilst the tragedy unfolding before our very eyes seems to be of enormous magnitude, let us not forget that already there are people volunteering their time, money and sacrificing their safety to help others.
It always humbles and inspires me to see this and recognize that spirit of love in all mankind.
Let us not waste time questioning and discussing the reason for these heart-rending events, or make ponderous arguments about it all. Let us join together, regardless of race, creed or class, and recognize that spirit of man within in each of us, and help our neighbor as we should – wherever and whatever the need is. It may be, as in my case both practical and full of loving prayers, or it may be in another way, but it behoves us all to reach out to those in need.
March 2011
4 posts
Isn’t it interesting that after Christmas come the New Year resolutions. The most obvious one that I hear a lot is to lose weight. The fitness classes are all full for the first few weeks after Christmas, the diet companies are awash with registrants with good intentions, and then everyone starts to trail off. The classes begin to empty and the diet companies begin to lose numbers.
This is the season of Lent. The season of giving up. When I was a child growing up in an Anglican school, we all gave up chocolate or some favorite food for Lent. A lot of other religious traditions also have fasting as part of their tradition. I think it is very interesting to be able to demonstrate control over the most basic of human needs – food, and in today’s western consumer society, it is all the more vital that we discover the importance of self control.
As a Christian Scientist, I don’t observe Lent or Ash Wednesday as a religious tradition, but the practice of my faith does encourage me to daily make individual, thoughtful choices about the decisions I make, and the kinds of human traits I need to give up in order to grow – both spiritually and humanly. One could call them on going daily resolutions, This is not always easy, but as my last article on the practice of gentleness illustrates, it is not just about giving up, but embracing.
Guilt is not a part of this journey of giving up - in fact, self-condemnation acts as a road block to a healthy view of what needs to be sacrificed. There was a time when I was extremely self critical of myself, and it was also a time when I was rather struggling with weight as well, and the two things seemed to go hand in hand. Then I read a very interesting article that said “No one ever thrives under the regime of a tyrant.” Wow – that got me thinking – the self condemnation was a tyrant – always demanding impossible achievements that I could not attain, and then plunging me yet again into another round of self criticism. There was nothing in my practice of Christian Science that was causing this. Rather, it was my growth in the practice of my faith that caused me to see this self-condemnation as a tyrant that could be overthrown with the daily practice of spiritual love. This is the embracing part.
In this case, what I sacrificed was not the food – but the self hatred. The desire to eat then left of itself. I lost the weight naturally.
The lesson from this is that we can go deeper in our efforts to give up something. To have just tried to go on a diet would not have met my deeper need to give up self-condemnation. That is what I sacrificed.. It was a worthy sacrifice in which nothing was lost, but much was gained.
Throughout history there have been many luminaries, and not a few have also been religious leaders. As a Christian Scientist, I have found the teachings and healing works of Christ Jesus to be intensely inspiring. And building upon that led me to a woman called Mary Baker Eddy, who in the 19th century dared to speak and write about religious theology, and founded a church with a mission to heal through spiritual means.
Inspiring By Example
Mary Baker Eddy inspires me because she too knew the deepest despairs – chronic ill health, the loneliness of homelessness, the grief of widowhood, the crushing pain of having a child taken from her, and relentless poverty. Yet this woman never gave up in her search for healing and helping others. Wanting more than anything to learn to heal as Christ Jesus did, she sacrificed everything for it.
She absolutely refused to be a victim. She also refused to be a “survivor.” She wanted to learn to triumph over the burdens that drag humanity down. And she did. She healed many, taught others to heal through her study of The Bible, and wrote her seminal book on healing, “Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures”, even while she had no formal education past the age of twelve. She not only founded a church that’s now a world-wide religion, but in her eighties she founded an international newspaper, The Christian Science Monitor, with the object to ”injure no man but to bless all mankind.”
This is the kind of spirituality which, blended with compassion and humanity, inspires me to heal also, because despite my mistakes, flaws and life challenges, there is so much more possible for all mankind. Her story, achievements and example show me that I too can make a difference.
There are so many women and men like her – those who dare to break boundaries, rise above their difficulties in order to nurture the world in some way, and carve out a fresh way for future generations to see themselves and others.
We all have our heroes, those people who truly inspire us. And she is one of mine.
To find out more about Mary Baker Eddy you can check out The Mary Baker Eddy Library at http://www.marybakereddylibrary.org
The Practice of Gentleness
As I write this, I have a four-foot deep, mud-filled trench at the back of my house, the contractor is banging loudly as he finishes the siding, and my electricity panel looks like a hedgehog with loads of wires sticking out into fresh air. Needless to say, we’ve had no power all day. And tomorrow the drills will arrive to dig up the concrete in our front patio. If this sounds like one of those home reno movies we all laugh at – it is.
I should have guessed about the level of frustration that goes with renovating when we went to our City offices for a building permit. There, the sign on the desk read “Offensive and abusive language is unacceptable in this office.” The official told us about the anger, threats and insults she has received. And after being sent running for yet one more approval, I could see why. It was tempting to give in to frustration and upset. But instead I said, “We just really want to work with you on this project.” She appreciated that. And this one comment took our relationship in a different, more peaceful, direction.
Some situations in life – like renos – provoke the ‘worst’ in us: frustration, rage, and fear. We’ve all experienced them. But it’s more than that. We have become a society of intolerance, rash judgment and ready insults; where rudeness and criticism are thrown around regardless of who they hurt. And where we react to life’s challenges in ways that are often unkind, even dangerous.
Not Just “Nice Ideas”
Over the past nine months, this small reno project became (for me) a microcosm of how the human mind works when faced with decisions and challenges. Every day there were opportunities to react. Yet early on we asked ourselves: What kind of thoughts and emotions do we want built into our walls and home? What memories do we wish to live with in this home? And how we reacted became a conscious choice.
I’m particularly grateful to what I’ve learned in Christian Science for this, because what matters there is how I practice my faith, not just the beliefs I hold. For me, that is what my religion is: a practice where I make choices every moment about how to deal with daily life – and renovations!
Here briefly is what I discovered about the practice of gentleness, even when I did not start out feeling that way:
1. Being respectful, kind or understanding are more than just ‘nice ideas.’ They take work, and discipline of mind, heart and tongue; deliberate choices to be civil and caring when things get rough. Following Christ Jesus’ example was often a great inspiration.
2. What mattered more to me than being “right,” or airing some frustration I felt, was feeling centred and finding peace within at the end of each day.
3. Gentleness is a great ‘defense’ against reacting in difficult situations. Being gentle with myself stopped my own self-condemnation in its tracks. It also stopped conversations from becoming abusive and critical – and turned me towards thinking about what I could do for others (like baking pies for the guys who worked on my house).
4. Being “gentle” doesn’t mean one can’t be firm or stand for what is right. In fact, it helped me to stay centred and make better decisions.
5. Even when I did get angry at times, it allowed me to pull back, re-center and begin again – with forgiveness for all (including myself) as my intention, and practice.
In the big scheme of things, with terrible tragedies, oppressions and sadness facing people around the world, renos are pretty small potatoes. But what they are is a testing ground, a place to hone our skills.
Finding calm and gentleness in the midst of human life is definitely a challenge. Yet how can we expect others to control their emotions, if we ourselves have not yet learned to do so in the small things of life? Perhaps we need to ask ourselves a similar kind of question every day: What kind of world do I want to build, create or live in? Because it’s not going to happen without a choice; and it definitely won’t come without practice.
The ways we react each day become a part of the way “the world” reacts. And what I learned from my renovations was that graciousness, kindness, patience, and gentleness must begin with me.
